From Trendy to Timeless: How to Build an Empowering Wardrobe That Reflects the Real You in Business, Casual, and Dating, Plus A Casual Date Look
The secret to building a confident and authentic personal style is a formula. So much of it is deep mindset work.
Radiant greetings!
This week I’m addressing authenticity and empowerment in creating a personal style. Why would authenticity and empowerment matter? As you may remember from last week, so many of the clothes in society have been passed down to us through time.
The problem with many of them is they evolved during very male-dominant times. We see it in all types of women’s fashion today. But there’s a difference between dressing for the male gaze and dressing for our authentic selves. To dress in an authentic way is empowering and rewarding.
We cover some basics of being authentic in how we dress for business, casual, and even dating.
Enjoy!
~Tatyana
PS: Starting next week, only paid subscribers will have personal access to me through Direct Messages for style questions. Founding investors will get a FREE 45-minute1 on 1 Virtual Color Analysis Session, where we will look at your undertones, determine some of your best and worst colors, and chat about how to take your look to the next level.
You’re reading Light Loves Color, by Tatyana Wilson, Ed.S. It’s a weekly publication full of timeless wardrobe strategies based on 4+ decades of research and 16,000+ color analysis sessions to help free people from clothing confusion and never-ending trends.
You will find the “shoppable” versions of these looks at the bottom of the page.
Biologically-Correct Colors: Once you find out your best colors, you won’t be as tempted to look to the fashion trends for what colors to buy. Really, shopping just gets so much easier when you instantly know just walking by that something isn’t your color (and sadly, much of it isn’t).
Flattering Capsule Wardrobe Basics: I chose dark wash, high-rise organic straight-leg jeans from +NET SUSTAIN, a Veronica Beard dark denim dickey jacket with bold buttons, and an Icebreaker sustainable merino top in a good color for cool undertones.
Impactful Accessories: This is a very casual look, but it’s anything but cheap or sloppy. The jeans are around $250, the jacket is $700, and the long-sleeve top is at least $150 new. All these items are carefully selected and ready to serve whenever the occasion arises. The formula for a classy casual look? Adorn yourself with quality garments, add some accessories, be yourself, and be bold.
From Trendy to Timeless: How to Build an Empowering Wardrobe That Reflects the Real You
Let’s be honest—how many times have you found yourself scrolling through social media or watching celebrities on TV, thinking, "They’ve got it all figured out. They know exactly how to look confident, successful, and put-together." Maybe you’ve tried to follow the trends, thinking it’s the key to unlocking your own sense of confidence. But here’s the real question: do you actually feel as confident as you want to? Are you getting the respect you deserve in your career or relationships?
Fashion is fun—it’s a form of self-expression, a way to experiment with who you are—but is it really serving you? Are your clothing choices helping people see you—your intelligence, your skills, your strength? Or are they sending signals that might be distracting from who you really are?
If you’ve been trying to look your best but feel like something is still missing—like you’re not being perceived the way you want to be—this is your moment to pause and reflect. Let’s explore the deeper psychology behind your wardrobe choices, and rethink what it means to dress "sexy." This shift in mindset might just be the key to unlocking real confidence, respect, and success in all areas of your life.
The Power of First Impressions
We all know the phrase, “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” As much as we’d like to believe that people only judge us based on our personality and character, the truth is that appearance plays a huge role in those initial moments of meeting someone. What we wear is often the first thing people notice, and it can shape how they perceive us.
Now, don’t get me wrong—I’m not here to tell you to cover up or shame anyone for showing a little skin. But let’s talk about the reality of the signals our clothing sends, especially when we’re dressing in a way that could be seen as overly sexualized.
The Science Behind Sexualized Clothing
Studies show that when we wear more revealing clothing—think plunging necklines, body-hugging outfits, or very short skirts—we’re not just showing off our bodies. We’re also triggering responses in the brain, both in men and women, that are wired to react to sexual cues.
Research published in Psychological Science found that women who dress in more sexualized clothing are often seen as less competent or less intelligent, regardless of their actual abilities. And this isn’t just how men perceive women—other women are just as likely to make these unconscious judgments. It’s an instinctive reaction, one rooted in our biology.
So, does this mean that dressing sexy makes you less competent? Of course not. But it does suggest that your clothing might be sending signals that overshadow your true talents, your intellect, and everything you have to offer. It’s about finding the balance between feeling attractive and making sure you’re seen for who you really are.
For Business
In the professional world, how you dress has a profound impact on how people perceive you. If you’re striving to make a strong impression in your career, the goal should be to dress in a way that shows confidence, capability, and readiness to be taken seriously. Fashion is an incredible tool for self-expression, but when it’s overly sexualized, it can sometimes send the wrong message, one that distracts from your professionalism. Instead of overemphasizing attractiveness, send the message of being put-together and detail-oriented. Nobody doesn’t want people who have their stuff together on their team.
Here are some simple yet effective tips for dressing for success in business:
Emphasize Fit and Quality: A well-fitted blazer, a structured dress, or tailored trousers can elevate your entire look. These pieces project authority and polish without saying a word.
Choose Biologically Correct Colors: Wearing colors that enhance your natural beauty will make you look radiant and vibrant without needing to rely on revealing styles or too much makeup.
Mind Your Necklines and Hemlines: In professional settings, modesty is key. You can absolutely be stylish while presenting a look that commands respect, not objectification.
At the end of the day, your clothing should empower you and reflect your professional expertise. When you dress in a way that makes you feel confident and polished, people will see your skills and not just your appearance.
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The formula for a classy casual look? Adorn yourself with quality garments, add some accessories, be yourself, and be bold.
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For Casual Wear
Even when you’re dressing casually, your clothes can still send powerful signals. Casual doesn’t have to mean sloppy or careless, and you don’t need to rely on revealing outfits to feel attractive in your everyday life. Comfort and style can go hand in hand without sacrificing confidence.
Here are some tips for casual dressing that still make an impact:
Prioritize Versatility: A pair of well-fitted jeans and a crisp white shirt can be the perfect base for a polished look. Throw on a casual blazer or a colorful scarf, and you’re ready!
Express Your Personality: Accessories, colors, and textures are your best friends when it comes to personal style. You don’t need to follow trends to feel stylish—add elements that make you feel you.
Comfort Equals Confidence: No matter how much you like something, you’ll never wear it if it doesn’t feel great on. When you feel comfortable in what you’re wearing, you naturally project confidence—and that’s always stylish. Pick good textiles and tailor your garments to help this.
Casual dressing is about finding that sweet spot between relaxed and intentional. The clothes you wear should still make you feel like the best version of yourself, even on a regular day.
For Dating
When it comes to dating, the balance between attraction and authenticity is key. If you’re dressing in a way that’s highly sexualized, it may distract from the deeper qualities you want to showcase—like your personality, intelligence, and intentions for a meaningful relationship.
If you’re looking for relationship guidance, I recommend my friend Amy Schoen, MBA, PCC, one of the most experienced relationship life coaches I know with hundreds of successfully coupled clients and many do marry. Amy has a fantastic coaching process that helps her clients align how they present themselves so they can attract the ideal relationship. Her approach is all about authenticity—being true to who you are, knowing your values, and setting the right boundaries, so you can recognize the right person when he shows up. Her clients know clearly who to let into their lives and who to walk away from—saving them time and from heartache.
If you're single and wondering why you haven't found your marriage mate yet, I suggest taking Amy's FREE "Are You Ready to Meet Your Mate?" Quiz at www.mtmquiz.com. It can provide insights into where you are in your relationship journey and whether you are truly ready for Mr. Right when he shows up or will you miss him?
Here are some tips for your dating attire for women::
Focus on Mindset: Confidence is the most attractive quality you can bring into a relationship, and your wardrobe should reflect that.
Mix Formal and Casual: Choose outfits that make you feel empowered, comfortable, and ready to engage with someone on a deeper level.
Rethink Sexy: Sexuality is part of attraction, however, your authentic self needs to always shine through. Then you’re attracting the right man for the right reasons.
A Call to Confidence
Confidence is the most attractive thing you can wear. Intelligence, authenticity, and self-respect—these are what make you stand out. Sometimes, this means choosing clothes that highlight your inner strength in ways that go beyond your physical appearance. It might mean opting for outfits that make you feel powerful, respected, and in control—rather than ones that simply show off your body.
Why Subscribe?
If you’re ready to break free from fleeting trends and build a wardrobe that’s timeless, sustainable, and authentically you, this Substack is for you. I combine over 40 years of research and experience with 16,000+ clients of The Image Architect with my love for sustainability and people empowerment. I believe this is the formula to help people break free of the fashion/beauty hamster wheel.
A Tip from Sandy Dumont: A solid sweep of color elongates the body and slims it.
When you wear one color from head to toe, the eye tends to take in the color in a sweep (without any distractions) and easily rests its gaze on the face (which, as you’ve heard me say, should always be the focus).
You will look taller and thinner wearing a single-colored pantsuit, for example, than with black pants and a white blouse. The sweeping effect is lost when the body is cut in half with multiple colors. You can then look shorter and heavier. So, if you want to create a long, thinning effect, include the same color in a connected way, even if it’s just pants and a shell of the same color under a cardigan or jacket.
Also, it isn’t necessary to stick to black to look slimmer. Other colors can be nearly as effective. Just remember, though: dark colors are the slimmest of all.
Here’s a comparison. On the left, you see a single sweep of color and on the right, the shape is divided into two colors. Which one looks more slim?
If you love colors as much as I do, you can still get much of the same benefit by including colors in the shell under jackets or sweaters or using colors in accents or trim.
Shoppable Links:
Click on the images below to get shopping ideas for the two looks of the week with Pinterest AI.
